For a while now, some of you know that I’ve made some mistakes with my past relationship. First of which is being too civil and reasonable. To some, that means “whipped,” to me, I’ve made compromises and have maintained flexibility. The only problem was the other person was too stubborn, thus resulting in more drama later.
I’ve given this individual more than reasonable notice to change their direct deposits and get their own health insurance, and to cease any further activity from my bank account. With the intention of not becoming an asshole, I facilitated my own demise in the situation. I figured being a nice guy, it would pay off — think again.
Of course now, on my vacation, I have the time to tie all my loose ends. Not really the first thing someone wants to do on their vacation, but it had to get done.
You know what’s funny? The fact I blinded myself from acknowledging this problem from happening. I mean I can give advice to others who are in my situation, but I didn’t have the awareness of seeing this unfold. For instance, for the last few months of our relationship, every discussion started out about money. It was sickening to say the least. It resulted in me volunteering her $215 cash out of my goodwill, and let her use the account for hotel stays along the way back home. It was “reasonable,” and certainly not the worst that I could have done.
More recently, I withdrew $250 from my own account to hold me over with things while I’m here and the very first voice mail I get is from her wondering where my money is. Then, she pulls some attitude with me about her money in my account, and later lies about creating her own bank account or even taking the time to pursue it. When under stress, her true colors shine so brightly, and to her it’s anything for a free ride.
Later the next day, I attended a wedding where we were mutual friends with the bride and groom. I called her the night before to confirm the date and time (which by providing me the location and time, it’s implied its OK for me to go). I get there, and not more than 10 minutes later, she (MoH) asks her minions (groomsmen) to ask me to leave. It wasn’t too surprising, but I was intrigued at the fact the requester didn’t have the fortitude to address me in person. Secondly, it was just so classy of her to bring her personal agenda into someone else’s wedding. I acted respectful and sent my regards to the bride and groom, then I left. Actions speak louder than words.
Later, I deleted her from MySpace (which these days means you REALLY don’t like them). Then changed all my passwords for my accounts. It was my mistake for letting her use the copy of Firefox with all my passwords saved. In addition, I switched my direct deposit from work, which only took a few minutes. Breaking off the cell phone from her account was quite nice, since she failed to pay the bill on time, and everything started out with “I thought …”
Then the excuses came. I received a couple text messages on my phone from her stating, “…if you want to talk about this like adults, then call me…sorry…,“which is really ridiculous. Maybe if you acted like an adult at the wedding, or an adult at any point in your life, you’d have the foresight on how your actions will be interpreted. Then I get the long-winded, zero paragraphs, broken-punctuation letter from her justifying her actions over the weekend.
I’ve learned vicariously through some contacts who were present at the wedding, that she just couldn’t get enough from talking about me. I mean, I know I’m a good guy and all, but it’s flattering to hear that I was the topic of discussion without me even being there. Thanks, I appreciate the smack-talk, but just realize that it only makes you look more like an ass in front of your friends. Besides, isn’t it more disrespectful to bring up your ex, while two people just got married?
Growing up is hard. I’ve learned my lessons. I’m actually glad this happened to me now. She was special to me at one point. But after her charade was over, her character really disgusts me. Second, being nice about money bites you in the ass. Money is money, it has no feelings. I can’t dictate what someone does and all I can do is control my actions, feelings, and tone with people.
For someone who didn’t want things to “end badly,” well, life’s a bitch, just like you. You manipulate people by playing the victim all the time while lacking responsibility during all of your tragedies. I made my mistakes, and I admit them; but you fail to do so. Your actions speak for yourself, your impulses, and your psyche. I may have been flexible and nice; but that ended Saturday at 10:15AM. Things
are going to have changed. You get zero sympathy from me. Go on, tell your friends what a dick I am. Tell them something they haven’t heard. Surprise them.
Good Riddance, STFU GTFO, n00b.