Warning: This is a personal rant, and if you like to hear another person whine in their blog; then continue; otherwise please read my other posts.
Its been a while since I shared my thoughts personally in here; so here goes. There is nothing more irritating than when friends (note: I use that term loosely, pardon me) betray your trust by being defiant when you developed an equal bond in terms of knowing where the other stands on issues. I previously ranted on my other blog mainly as a true “friends” journal on LJ. Anyhow, its very tough to break of friendships because people are set in their immature ways and won’t develop themselves and I am in the odd position of ‘what do I do?’ in my personal dialogue with myself. I dont see how it must be binary in my decision; but sometimes in situations there is no grey area that can be excused for. (referencing Work) I feel like I am a coach/supervisor of a consultant who has potential of reaching a goal; just chooses not to, and its painful to call them out on it. Not only that, the Victim/Ownership complex comes into play and they dont accept feedback, and then you are then viewed as an enemy; then they spew reasoning for their fallacy and my attempt to intervene becomes an unresolved matter; and now negative feelings are made and to not give into their pushback, must be consistent; yet listen and acknowledge their views. It gets very complex especially when trying to mediate with (for example a room-mate) or friend; when you dont want to risk friendship in the process.
So deviating from this; I essentially put my foot down and am standing up for my personal beliefs; and if they dont like it Adapt-Or-Leave and never talk to me again. The essence of friendship is trust, but when trust collapses my advice is meaningless. I know probably most of you wonder what I am putting my foot down on, its drug use. I am not the most educated one, however I know some aspects to drugs and there is a difference between non-habitual, recreational use and a mental addiction; where you are controlled/victimized by the substance in question and lie to friends and others to hide it. Not to sound transparent; but there is also legal ramifications backing up what I say and especially with the lease ending soon I’m preparing for my next step in life, the next rung in the ladder.
I am not a coach for friends; despite one citing I am one. I dont possess the attribute of patience. I don’t sit idly as others are learning life’s lessons on my back, and wallet. I am willing to share skills and advice, but I will NOT attempt to mend willingness issues. Rachel has both of these abilities; and obviously knows the specifics of what I am talking about. She shares advice and has effectively shared with me the Victim-Owner process so I can look at a situation and observe it objectively and react in a rational manner. I know without thinking things through I would have Domestic Assault (A.R.S. §13-1203) on my record, and that’s Noooo good.
So, in summation, I have some pretty lame friends, and well I got burned. I learned a few lessons, is don’t risk friendship over money, meaning, dont get in that situation in the first place. Also, dont accept roommates who never lived on their own for a bit, so they get a taste of the real world (handling financial responsiblity).