First, I wanted to share a video that lightens up the discussion on Attention Deficit Disorder. This video was produced by Pantless Knights:
Second, I wanted to talk about something that’s been bugging me. It’s on my mind a lot and I don’t really open up and share it with people. Consider yourself gifted, because you’ll be one step closer to understanding me.
I frequently think about if I have ADD. In many parts of my life, I am distracted from one project to another, leaving many opportunities unfinished. When I write professional blog posts, it can take from minutes (if I’ve been thinking about it for a while beforehand), to a several hours if I am “live-blogging” my thoughts into an entry. I work 2-4x harder on things than other people in my space because I become easily distracted to other external stimuli.
Be it, people… music…videos…tweets… status updates… etc. I frequently jump from one thing to the next with what I term, wreckless abandon.
Recently, I’ve been trying out a possible chemical/pharmaceutical solution. It’s called Provigil. As a Schedule-IV drug, it’s just a notch above Codeine but a notch less than Ketamine in terms of DEA and FDA regulation (Controlled Substances Act). It’s been written up on TechCrunch, and it’s been endorsed by a few people I know that have regularly struggled with being focused on … well, let’s just say life. Unlike it’s counterpart, Adderall, Provigil is not an amphetamine, that leaves your heartbeat pulsing higher than normal and additional twitching.
(I’ve tried a couple doses of Adderall a few years ago, for recreational use. Interesting, I don’t see how that addresses ADD, it felt like it induced it.)
I don’t trust that a pharmaceutical solution is what I need though. Somehow, I feel it’s just a band-aid for a gunshot wound. There has to be something deeper within me that causes me to lose focus so frequently. I can’t quite nail it down, but I plan to seek professional advice on it. Even then, I know how much of a racket and for-profit nature that doctors are engaged in these days, so I will have to question their every prescription they write. Trust me, they did a number on my mom.
Ultimately, I feel behaviors can be changed and adapted. I also see that various influences can aid in that transition. In many ways my agility and tolerance in going from issue to issue, audience to audience, and artistic to strategic is a gift that I can only embrace. Equally, as such this gift can be harnessed in negative ways if I let it.
Anyhow, only wanted to share a bit of a personal challenge, a problem, and likely — an opportunity– that I’m working towards.
